If you happen to have a sticker or a lollipop on hand*, you can usually get your kid to do just about anything you want by offering one or both of them. Exceptions to this tactic might be stopping extreme tantrums, cleaning up an entire room, and getting accepted into Harvard by the age of 15. Wishful thinking aside, the operative word for this parental behavior is called the “bribe.” We might think of this as a bad parenting method, since it gets judges, police and politicians thrown in jail. Not you, though, so go for it!

In case we haven’t convinced you yet, here are 8 reasons to bribe your kids.

1.) Bribing works. Fast. Last night I wanted my younger daughter to go to bed, but she wouldn’t brush her teeth. I gave her root beer earlier – a rarity in our household – and the sugar had taken hold. She kept asking for “more Coke” and I kept saying “I would never give you Coke, let alone before bedtime, and you need to brush your teeth.” Our horns were locked. Then my wife interjected “If you brush your teeth, I’ll read you a book.” This was followed by immediate compliance. I had lost sight of the fact that I was just saying “no” when the kid just wanted to hear “offer something else and I might listen.” Bribes are speedy and effective.

2.) Kids become better negotiators. Eventually, doling out bribes makes kids realize that they can be the ones to try to get what they want by negotiating for it. We all talk about the proud moments when our kids can do normal things like walk or read, but most people need to do these things anyway. Learning to get what they want in exchange for something else is a hugely important life skill. Don’t believe me? Walk up to your boss, demand a raise, and see what happens. Chances are, she will meet you with the same response you will give your child if he asks for a new toy – a resounding “no.” But if your child offers to clean his own room for a month and follows through, do you think he’ll be getting a new toy? If you’re smart, the answer is a resounding “yes!” The same kid in twenty years will intrinsically know the value of working harder for a bigger reward.

3.) Bribes sweeten the deal for kids. We are definitely not advocating that kids get a bribe for everything. Far from it. But aren’t they just happier when they get something that they really want? I have noticed the joy in my children’s eyes when they get something they want. This makes me something of an expert on the amount of joy that is in their eyes when they get something they want after they have worked for it. Those are the smiles that I remember the most, and whether they know it or not, they are learning that they can trust Dad to hold up his end of the bargain if they hold up theirs. Win-win-win-win. All around win. Sweet.

4.) Bribes are great in public situations. Isn’t it ironic that the same people who give you the evil eye for your children’s bad behavior are the same ones who berate you for giving them rewards? Well, forget those people. The fact of the matter is that your child is acting inappropriately and you need them to stop. What childless, annoyed people tend to forget is that children sometimes act like they do for the simple reason that they are children. For your own piece of mind, skip the child wrestling, constant shushing and embarrassment and take advantage of the immediacy of the bribe. And when your kid continues to be a kid, don’t be apologetic for trying.

5.) Bribes give kids power. This is a good thing. Do you want your child to be a leader or a follower? The ones who simply do what they are told will be good followers when they grow up. This is admirable and all, but wouldn’t you want your child to be the leader? The one that has a little more power? The one that speaks up in groups? I’m not saying that bribing your child will make your kid the next great world leader. What I am saying is that knowing how to negotiate concessions with others is the mark of a great leader. Stonewalling and saying “follow my lead and expect nothing in return” is just being a bully.

6.) It narrows down the choices. Bigger kids love to choose between “a” and “b.” Try this experiment: put your hands behind your back and tell your child to pick one. See? Unabashed excitement. Even when they are being unruly, a child will usually make a choice when there are only two options. When one option is “do something and get rewarded” and they other is “do nothing and get nothing” they will make a choice. Guess which one it usually is?

7.) Do you really want a kid who “just follows the rules?” Should people really be expected to be mindless automatons, made to do others’ bidding at will, with no expectations of rewards? Why should we expect kids to just “do as they are told” all the time? Balance, people, balance! There is enough to do that is already required of us (think: raising children!*). Bribes are motivation for doing more than we need to do, and becoming better, more well rounded people in the process.

8.) Bribes are the gateway to allowance. Allowances are cool for older kids who understand money. For my kids, however, piggy banks are still just giant pigs that are full of money that they occasionally empty out all over the place. Bribes, could be re-termed as “pre-allowances” for kids that are too young to understand the awesomeness of cash. They’ll understand how getting paid works pretty easily with suckers, stickers and whatever else you can give them for a reward. You’ll build the future principle of “you did this so you get that.” Sound familiar? Your job? Nuff said.

So before you punish your kid for not doing something, try rewarding them for doing something instead. Most of the time it ends up being a win-win situation.

Oh yeah, and I almost forgot, thanks for reading the post. Here you go…

* Which is a reward in and of itself, by the way