Crossing the bridge into fatherhood spans a life stage where both King roles (as Provider, Rule Maker, Protector) and Lover roles (as Birth Coach, Intimate Partner, Co-Caregiver) carry less impact than before. There is a new game afoot. — Jonathan Bartlett, MA, MFT
Fatherhood is not an easy place to be in, and it’s not something you can leave when it gets hard. I have to admit I’m still in shock and new to this whole different world of being a dad. Unlike women who played pretend-to-be-mom growing up, I played cars and toy guns. It seemed like chaos was the ultimate fun!
I had mixed emotions when I first learned I was going to be a dad. I was excited to see a little me, but at the same time scared that I might not be the best father for him. I might fail him. In that sense, I’m talking about giving him the best life he could have. I never want him to ask “Why can’t I have that?”
I had to go to counseling to help me find the courage to take risks and man up to my responsibility. If I could share the things I’ve learned to my fellow fathers, I would gladly.
Being a good father is a tough job, but also a rewarding one that brings out the best in men, for the benefit of families and, ultimately, of society. — Melanie Greenberg Ph.D.
How To Be A Good Father:
Picture the man you want your son to be and be it. You are one real example of the things your son can be. Don’t go reminding him of being mindful of where he’s stepping. Remember that he’s is walking in your footsteps, so you be careful.
Teach your son the real essence of a man – to protect not just the women but those who cannot defend themselves. He is a protector of not the human kind but the whole world. Train him to be the protector of all that is good.
Guide him to be a responsible being. Men too should clean and serve. Teach your son not to be king. Instead, teach him to help and contribute to his community. Train him to be a team player, and show him the importance of his effort.
Discipline him not to be selfish and to be a leader who envisions the wellness of everyone. Make him understand the difference between people following you out of fear versus respect.
Educate him that true riches are not materials things. You are rich when you are loved and contented with what you gain without having to hurt and belittle anyone.
Many people have a child and then realize all the stuff they thought they figured out is still there. That’s fine. — Justin Lioi, LCSW
Counseling made me realize that fatherhood is not just about being able to provide them with material things. It’s about filling up our children’s souls with all the goodness there is. I know that this world is not always rainbows and butterflies and winning is not about how big the weapon you hold in your arms. It is about how big your heart is to show compassion and contribute to the wellness of the people around you.
Being a father is not a simple task. It takes a real man to stick around and stand up for his kid. I realized that fatherhood is not a mark of a hindrance to my goals in life but an opportunity to fulfill my purpose.