Why Children Need To Learn Good Values And Right Conduct
How can you ideally teach your children to respect? We frequently fail to remember that kids aren’t brought into the world with an inherent feeling of regard for others. They should be taught how to show courtesy, especially during their teenage years. Our children are made more precious when they are instilled with good values.
How Does Teaching Respect Begin?
An article helpful for parents who want to encourage kids to respect other children’s differences, even down to something as simple as a preschool wearing mismatched socks, is crucial. It’s important to teach children that certain behaviors can send the wrong message and that showing someone courtesy means embracing their individuality.
As I mentioned in my previous post, my husband’s short temper rude behavior, and lack of use of age-appropriate language had been flaring up recently. He lacked self-control while giving the children instructions on how to drive. His reason for doing so sounded stupid and unreasonable and not like him, so I had to take matters into my own hands quickly and get a counselor involved. I hoped to ensure that this would not happen again and make our kids lose their respect for my husband.
Parent Counseling
This is a true story about how taking a timeout helped me feel heard and avoid acting like a “mini-me” of someone I didn’t want to be. Sometimes, we need to set an example for others by expressing what we expect of them.
My husband talked to the counselor privately for 30 minutes before his head peeked outside the door, and he beckoned me to go in there with him.
Many parents like me didn’t want to do that because the problem was him, not me. When I entered, though, the counselor said, “Hello, Mrs. Smith. I want to talk to you about my initial findings since this negative behavior is technically an issue that affects your entire family.”
“All right, counselor. What have you found?” I asked.
“Let me start by saying that I am not a medical doctor. I cannot know if this is a side effect of diabetes or not, but from what you and your husband shared with me, I can say that he has a mild intermittent explosive disorder (IED). Based on my experience, and from what I have seen in many people with this chronic illness, they tend to develop prolonged irritability over the years and find it tough to model respect, positive discipline, positive parenting, or sometimes even basic manners. It tends to ruin relationships and families if you’re not paying attention and don’t respond immediately.”
As the counselor was explaining all this to me, my husband kept his head low. He looked so fragile and small at that instant, and I wanted to console him. Still, we both needed to hear this for the sake of our family. It was also more for his sake because he would lose a wife and two beautiful kids if he kept exactly the same things at home.
Turning back to the good manners counselor, I asked, “So, what can we start educating kids now?”
Preventing Kids From Being Disrespectful
“Anything can make your husband’s anger management and foul language explode, to be honest. When awful character trait shows, most parents and father yell and forget how to treat people well. Would not care about everything that comes out of his mouth even the abusive language because his temper rules over his better judgment. But as you told me over the phone, our main concern is instilling respect in children and ensuring that you can teach kids not to lose respect towards their father.”
How to earn respect? How do you raise a respectful child? Give your children real reasons to be respectful by being a good role model. If a child is being disrespectful, listening to the person and their friends can help identify the underlying issue. When you help your child learn cues, and praise respectful behavior, you’ll be able to reinforce their behavior. We are all trying our best to be the best parents for our kids, it’s not easy, we just need to keep trying.
Be Aware Of Your Mood Changes
As soon as you wake up, you need to spend a few minutes in bed to assess how you feel today and set realistic expectations to your own liking. Are you on the same page with yourself? Are you upset about your own outfits, authority figures in life, financially consuming issues, or something else? Did someone at work rub you the wrong way? Are you worried about a project at work? Do you want to teach kids not to chatter and make it difficult for you to think at breakfast?
Whichever the case is, you should keep a respectful behavior or disrespectful behavior chart to draw or write your current mood or child’s emotions. It will be ideal when instilling respect or discussing courtesy to improve a child’s behavior when you place it where everyone can see it before even talking to anyone. It is one of the best ways to teach respect toward your feelings. This way, your family members will know the golden rule to keep their distance from you quiet down a little, or not even maintain eye contact to ensure that they will not upset you further. Although children respect would have nothing to do with your feelings, it would still be great to teach respect in that area and if they would not trigger your explosive disorder.
Fix The Menial Issues To Keep The Kid’s Respect
In my family’s case, my husband’s disrespectful behavior got set off because of our child’s behavior. Our kids, despite their respectful behavior, could not understand his driving lessons in five minutes. He wanted to start teaching respect and explaining it to motorists as well. Since there was no way anyone could do that (except maybe for my husband) due to their different opinions and the power struggle between them, I took a deep breath and made an executive decision. I would enroll our kids in an actual driving school so kids learn concrete examples and gain teachable moments from other grownups. Preference policing two teenagers was expensive, yes, but it would guarantee that they would focus more and learn the golden rule in driving and more respect people and that my husband would stay cool-headed.
When my husband found out about it, he was angry and started arguing with me, insisting that it was a total waste of money. However, he turned mum when I explained in a calm manner, “ Dear, it is not a waste of money if it can teach respect and save our family.”
Do Mindfulness Meditation
The counselor also recommended mindfulness meditation to boost my husband’s respectful behavior, so I immediately contacted my friend who can explain meditation better. The basic idea was that my husband had to feel disrespectful behavior flowing down his body and out of his system. He was supposed to repeat these anti-disrespectful behavior steps every day, especially when disrespectful things crossed his mind. Trying respectful ways to achieve good behavior and feel respected will keep him from having an outburst and hurting everyone’s feelings. Teaching his kids respect should be out of his thoughts.
It eventually turned into a family activity as my husband invited our kids to do mindfulness meditation with him.
Final Thoughts
It was overwhelming to realize that mutual respect, being a good role model, and all the positive changes would not have been possible if my husband did not want to change his disrespectful behavior. He only hesitated in the beginning and did not want to listen, but when respectful words started, he cooperated 100% and became a respectful adult according to his own preferences. Regaining mutual respect indicated that my husband was not inherently evil. When you explain respect to a parent, they can change their own choices and learn the word respect — just like disrespectful kids turning into respectful kids.
Keeping The Kids’ Respect: Conclusion
Needless to say, my husband’s issue was just a phase in our own lives. He managed to repair his relationship with our kids. Even when we teach our kids respect, we can still keep their respect toward us. At the end of the day, everyone deserves respect.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do You Instill Respect In Your Children?
When instilling and teaching kids respect, parents that are together or even those undergoing co-parenting strategies should consistently model respectful behavior and communicate the value of treating others well over time.
How Would You Define Respectfulness?
Respectfulness is an important quality that involves treating others well, being considerate, and showing kindness, regardless of differences, and it’s a key aspect of being a good and considerate person.
How do you discipline a child who talks back?
Discipline or teach your child who talks back by instilling respect, nurturing family bonds, and using an appropriate parenting style.
How Do You Teach Courtesy In A Fun Way?
There are many ways to teach children courtesy in fun and effective ways including using simple, age-appropriate activities, such as role-playing polite interactions, creating games that reinforce good manners, and modeling respectful child behavior in daily life.
Why Is It Essential For Children To Learn How To Respect Others?
It’s essential for children to learn how to respect others because respectful kids foster positive relationships and contribute to a considerate society through respectful ways of treating others.
How Can Children Demonstrate Courtesy Toward Others?
What Are Some Ways That You Can Demonstrate Respectfulness?
Why Is My Child So Rude And Disrespectful?
What’s The Most Psychologically Damaging Thing You Can Say To A Child?
What Are The Signs Of A Disrespectful Child?
At What Age Should Children Learn Courtesy?
What Causes A Child To Be Disrespectful?
How Do I Teach My Child To Be Polite?
How Can One Practice The Art Of Being Polite Or Courteous?
What are 5 basic etiquettes?