Family is the best thing in this world. But what can you do with a loved one who’s always angry? Let me share with you my experience with many angry outbursts – how my husband’s awful behavior and short fuse negatively affected our family.
My husband used to be a gentle spirit. Whenever we would fight back in the day, he would always apologize to me even if it was not entirely his fault. He would do that because he did not want to prolong that fight. That’s when he didn’t have such a short temper.
Once we had kids, I also saw more of his patience, considering they were not the quietest children. He doesn’t lose his nature even when they would always yell or scream or cry, and I would be the one getting short temper all the time. Whenever that happened, though, my husband would be like, “No, no, dear. It’s okay. You relax there.”
Diagnosis And Warning
When my husband was 35 years old, he got diagnosed with diabetes. It did not genuinely come as a surprise since the same illness ran in his family for ages. He was only slightly devastated because he was asked to choose between pills and injectable insulin. He eventually opted for the latter.
When my in-laws found out about it, they were more concerned for the kids and me than for my husband. I found that a little odder than the diagnosis because, well, I was not the one who would have to get insulin injections for the rest of their life – it was their son. Besides, I couldn’t imagine my husband having a short temper.
Still, my mother-in-law told me indiscreetly, “John [my father-in-law] used to be as sweet and gentle as your husband right now. However, ever since he got diagnosed with diabetes and started getting treatment, he became more irritable than ever and his angry outburst was constant.” She was concerned that my husband will also have a short temper.
I felt sorry for my mother-in-law. She didn’t even tell the family about his husband’s short temper. If she gave up, it would all fall apart.
When Diabetes Changed Everything
I did not see much change in my husband in the first five years of taking insulin injections. He was still hard working; he was still helping out at home. However, my husband had somehow gotten more short temper and sometimes lose his temper. In cases like that, he would be a little irritable he would have a short temper over things until we got to a colder place.
I only started seeing a shift in his nature and attitude when our kids were old enough to learn how to drive. He did not want them to enroll in a driving school, saying that he could teach what the instructors could and more. My children were excited to do it and waved at me happily before they hopped in their father’s car.
However, later, my teenage kids were crying. They had never cried like that ever since they were eight years old, so something must have really upset them. I was already thinking about their dad’s short temper.
“Dad was very mean to us. He got lost his temper once again. He was yelling in the parking lot, calling us dumb for not getting what he was trying to teach in the first five minutes. Why does he have such a quick temper?”
This anger problem of his is destroying our family. Temper is ruining everyone.
Taking A Quick Action
You should know about me because I don’t have the same amount of patience as my mother-in-law. I didn’t have patience especially with people who have an anger issue. As soon as my husband acted up like that – manifested an angry outburst by shouting and complaining often – I called a counselor to talk to him about his short temper. Again, my husband seemed annoyed when the mental health professional arrived, but I told him sternly that it was necessary to keep our family together and that short temper is harming our family. That must have shaken him up a bit because he went to the study room for his first consultation.
I may seem harsh for other couples, but the children did not deserve to deal with a quick-tempered father. Also, I believed in nipping the problem in the bud before it could have a chance to grow and ruin our family forever. It may sound like a simple problem, but this anger problem could definitely debilitate a person and the people surrounding him. It may seem unnecessary and people would always say we all have bad behavior sometimes, having to lose a temper especially when affecting the kids is not healthy. It is not okay to let the temper get the best of our family. Losing a temper is not just bad behavior. It destroys everyone around you.
To know how the counseling session went and how it has helped with his short temper, please read the continue in the next article entitled Counseling 101: How To Keep Your Kids’ Respect.