A stereotypical family setting denotes patriarchy in its modern-day glory. The husband goes to work during the day and provides the needs of the family. At night, he is welcomed home by a lovely dinner prepared by the wife. On the other hand, the mother stays at home, takes care of the needs of the children and husband, and does the housekeeping chores such as cooking, cleaning and everything else the family needs. Lastly, the kids go to school and study hard for their bright futures.
Most fathers underestimate the importance of frequent bonding with their sons. Fathers play an essential part in their son’s lives. Leave it out, and it will create a massive gap in your son’s life.
A woman fortunate enough to have had a good father is a woman as lucky as an heiress. Even if in his will, her father cannot leave her a dime, she accumulates riches vast and secure enough to help her through the toughest parts of life. — Gina Barreca Ph.D.
Some daddies, especially those who have experienced fathering both genders, say they enjoy being a daddy to a daughter. It doesn’t mean they love their sons less. It just means some things bring them a unique feeling and experience in raising their daughters. You can even see men on social media who may look and seem rough but are so gentle and loving to their daughters. Things like these make our hearts melt. So why is it that fathers tend to be more emotionally attached to their daughters?
A dad addresses the five myths about stay-at-home fathers the public believes.
Despite the rising numbers of single-dad households in the country, they continue to face and silently battle these seemingly simple, everyday challenges.
More often than not, fathers are involuntarily relegated by family courts to the role of “accessory parents,” instead of active caregivers. — Edward Kruk Ph.D.
Some families are lucky enough to have both mom and dad present in their daughter’s life. In this case, it’s the mother whom the daughter can run to when puberty and boys make their life more exciting.
…recent Census data (US HHS) show that there were 1.96 million single fathers in 2012 (with 16% of custodial single parents being men) and an estimate of 189,000 stay-at-home dads in 2012 (defined as those who were out of the labor force for at least a year to care for children younger than 15). — The Rev. Christopher L. Smith, LCAC, LMHC, LMF
On the other hand, dads usually take care of their boys when they finally have “the talk.” But what happens when dads have to do both? Are you ready for questions about their first period, their crush, or their self-esteem issues? Although you might feel less knowledgeable about your daughter’s teenage predicaments, you still might be underestimating just how much you can help.
Be Extra Sensitive
Know when it’s time. More often than not, your daughter will try to hide everything as much as they can. It is the time in their life wherein they feel embarrassed about what’s happening with their bodies.
It might be better to slowly initiate a conversation with your daughters rather than wait for them to come to you. If you do the latter, you might just be waiting for nothing. It might be awkward at first, but they will appreciate your concern far more than you can imagine. Even before that, do your research or talk to other people so that you don’t go in empty-handed.
Don’t be a stranger to your daughter. Be sensitive enough to create an environment where they don’t have to hide things out of embarrassment or fear of you.
Good fathers engage in less risky behaviors – I had a father who decided to quit smoking once and for all so he could be there to walk his daughter down the aisle. — Chen Oren, Ph.D.
Ask Help From Others
Let’s face it: dads know about a boy’s puberty. They are all too familiar with problems involving girls and all the fiasco that comes with being a teenage boy. With girls, however, it is an entirely different terrain they haven’t tried to cross.
As much as dads want to be a guide for their daughters, sometimes it is just different when “the talk” is with their girls. If you feel like you are an insufficient guide, then you might want to tap your trusted relatives or friends to have a friendly chat with your daughter.
Try not to make a big deal out of everything. It might make your daughter feel even more embarrassed to open up. Instead, be as casual as possible. Invite some female friends or relatives for lunch, brief them about your problem, and let them work their magic.
Of course, this will still be a case-to-case basis. Do you think your daughter will willingly open up to other people aside from you? Or does she need more privacy and want to talk only with you? With these questions in mind, you can approach the situation accordingly.
Don’t Just Be Her Dad
Your daughters might be longing for a mother figure or, really, just any woman they can trust. Your judging them is the last thing they need when they open up.
As a father you take a lot of pride and integrity in your relationship with your children. Your main priority is to be the best possible dad you can be, but the circumstances of divorce can make this difficult or even impossible. — Andra Brosh, PhD
It is the perfect time to act not only as a dad but also their friend. Your daughter will have lots of questions, and you have to make sure that you answer from your heart. They will feel that you care for their welfare and, in turn, build a trusting and open relationship with you.
So, there you have it. Don’t worry; this experience doesn’t have to be painstakingly awkward for either you or your daughter. It might all seem daunting, but it will surely elevate your father-daughter bond to the next level. In the end, you will find that she treats you as her new best friend. How much better can that get?
Postpartum depression isn’t just a mom disorder. Dads go through it, too with what is called as Paternal Postpartum Depression.
Whether it’s Father’s Day or you want to have a movie night with the whole family, you should try watching movies about dads. You’ll probably relate to the heartbreaking storylines and comedic father–children scenes.
If you’re not familiar with this movie class, don’t worry too much because we got you covered. Listed below are some of the best dad movies you can watch with your loved ones.
Father Of The Bride (1991)
Father of the Bride is a remake of the famous 1950s movie called Vincent Minnelli’s. This film is a father-daughter classic, which tackles the issue of the daughter’s marriage.
Steve Martin is a clingy and overprotective dad who got jealous when his one and only daughter began spending most of her time with her fiancé. Since he’s not yet used to the fact that daddy’s little girl is all grown up, he goes a little bit nuts.
This movie is such a comedic delight, especially during the scene where the dad goes through a full wedding panic and breaks down at the grocery store.
He Got Game (1998)
This pick is perfect for sports-loving fathers. In the story, Denzel Washington took on the role of a father who was trying to rebuild his relationship with his son, a top-rank basketball player. This yearning happened after spending around six years in prison.
It turns out the state governor only released him for seven days so that he can convince his famous son to play for the governor’s alma mater. If he succeeds in this conquest, the official promised a massive reduction in his prison sentence.
Morris From America (2016)
Morris From America is a delightful coming-of-age story starring Markees Christmas and Craig Robinson. Morris (Christmas) plays the role of a 13-year-old New Yorker who moved to Germany. This transition was a challenge for him because he had to come up with strategies to fit in. While his classmates are more inclined into dance music, Morris considers himself a rapper, always writing rhyming poems and songs.
Another challenge he faced during this time was the fact that his dad makes fun of his ambitions him all the time. Morris From America is a beautiful film to watch due to its perfect balance of comedy and drama.
Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
Mrs. Doubtfire started with a divorce finalization scene. Because of this unfortunate event, a loving father, portrayed by Robin Williams, drafted a wild plan so that he can see his children. He transformed himself with costume and makeup to pass for a nanny for the household. Everything was going well until he and his wife were both invited to a family dinner. This event put his secret at risk of exposure.
Although it has its comedic aspects, the film also touched on love, patience, and the sacrifice of a father.
These movies about dads and families will put a smile to everyone’s lips. It will also be more memorable if the whole family gets to watch these films with the number 1 guy in their lives.
A father’s greatest nightmare is being told they’re doing a poor job at raising their little humans. They already get a bad reputation for being the less involved parent as it is.
Being a father is no easy task; there are lots of things to remember that you might not get a grip on everything. But don’t be so discouraged. Your relationship with your kids is probably healthier than you think. To check, look out for these signs!
The term “good enough” implies a kind of parenting that sets the stage for child development without micromanaging the entire process. The idea behind it is that growth is an internal drive unique to the nature of each child. — Jonathan Bartlett, MA, MFT
Your Kids Are Not Afraid Of Telling You Things
You communicate with each other. You find that you can easily confide simple things to them as if they are your pals. In the same way, they also update you about what’s happening with their lives. When they experience any stress or discomfort, they run to you for advice. You realize that hearing your help is crucial before they make any decisions. You are not a stranger to them, and you know this because you rest in confidence that you know what’s going on with your kids. You know how they’re doing at school and their extra-curricular or if they have any crush—everything under the sun.
They tell you things simply because you are a great listener. When they share their experiences with you, you offer the best advice you can give. You act not only as their dad but also as their best friend—and that’s a great trait to have.
Fathers spend a higher percentage of their one-to-one interactions with infants and preschoolers in stimulating, playful activity than do mothers. From these interactions, children learn how to regulate their feelings and behavior. — Ditta M. Oliker Ph.D.
They Are Kind
Their kindness to you and other people is very apparent. They are selfless and thrive on doing things for other people. Still, they remain headstrong and brave. Your kids know how to stand up for themselves and for other people. Your kids are compassionate and empathic. You find that they handle conflict well, and they know when to apologize. They are aware of when they have hurt others’ feelings and are mature enough to approach you if you have hurt theirs. Overall, they are just great humans who are emotionally intelligent with a brave heart.
They learned this by watching you. You have become a fantastic role model for your kids that they know your kindness is something noble enough to embody on their own.
A research study of school-aged children found children with good relationships with their fathers had lower incidence of depression, disruptive behavior, and lying. This study also found that boys with involved fathers had fewer school behavior problems and that girls with such fathers had higher self-esteem. — Melanie Greenberg Ph.D.
They Make You Proud
Our kids tell a lot about how we have raised them. In most cases, they turn out mostly as a carbon copy of us even when they are unconscious of it. They take on our traits and our values, and they merge it with their own experiences.
You know you have done an excellent job as a dad when seeing them be the way they are makes your heart burst with pride. Ultimately, you are satisfied with the thought that you have raised them well. You rest easy knowing that your kids are on the right path and that, despite your flaws, you have still done an excellent job.
There is no single method on how to be a better dad. As always, it remains to be a case-to-case basis depending on the relationship dynamics of a particular family. If you feel like you are still doing worse than you aim, don’t give up. You have every single day to try again with your kids. Until you find the approach that best suits you, don’t be so hard on yourself. Here’s to being a better dad!
With our busy schedules even outside our 9-to-5 job, it’s hard to be active and present in our children’s lives all the time. By the time we know it, we’re missing out on so much, like their first goal in soccer class, their recitals, or their science fairs. Sometimes, our wives are even at the receiving end of our lack of time. We begin to innocently forget small things and, eventually, start missing out on anniversary dates, birthdays, dinner parties, and such. Although fathers present their love and affection in multiple languages other than presence, this can have undeniable effects on our kids still.
Fathers are not just providers. While we must focus on ensuring we have food on the table, we also can’t deny that our fatherhood is compromised at times. No dad wants this, so this guide below can help you thrive at work while also being present in your wife and child’s life.
Deciding what kind of father you want to be is important and laughable at the same time. Laughable because the days, weeks, and years are unpredictable. Having a co-parent may make it easier, but it also introduces the unpredictability of another person. — Justin Lioi, LCSW
Fathers should not be the only ones who assume the role of the provider. Sometimes, fathers tend to detach themselves from other responsibilities because of work. They think that, because they are earning for the family, they are already relieved from other house tasks.
We must realize that these all fall to our wives, who are carrying the load we should be sharing. Delegate and agree on specific household tasks that you and your wife should be responsible for.
It is easy to be ignorant about what our wives feel. But one great way to start being a more hands-on dad is to be a hands-on husband too. Empathy is vital in making a family work. Realize that you are not the only one tired from a long day at work. With this understanding, we can start to share the same empathy with our kids.
Children who live with their fathers have better physical and emotional health, better academic achievement, and lower incidence of drug use and delinquency. — Melanie Greenberg Ph.D.
Don’t wait until you no longer know how old your child is before you start making efforts. Make it a point to at least maximize whatever free time you get with your family.
After work, try to spend at least 15 minutes to play with your kids or ask how your wife’s day was. Help in washing the dishes, taking out the trash, or putting the kids to sleep. Read them bedtime stories when you can, or initiate a movie night.
Weekends should mainly be a work-free time dedicated for you to bond with your family. Try planning a lovely family day occasionally to remind your family that you are still present.
Most fathers today are keen to experience both the joys and challenges of parenthood, derive satisfaction from their parental role, and consider active and involved fatherhood to be a core component of their self-identity. — Edward Kruk Ph.D.
Be Available, Accessible, And Approachable
Sometimes, being physically present alone won’t do. You must make sure that you are there in the moment physically, mentally, and emotionally.
We underestimate how much our kids sense our interest (or lack thereof). Being mentally absent is sometimes even worse than not being there at all. Fathers must maintain a positive and loving attitude whenever we’re with our kids. Do not project stress from work onto them. Instead, think of family time as an escape from all the work-related problems you might be facing.
When you are with your kids, involve yourself as much as you can. Do not just stand there waiting for them to finish so that you can go home. Immerse yourself in their activities. Through this, they will start to feel that you genuinely care about their interests.
Once you follow this guide, you will realize that fatherhood is not a chore, and you should never treat it like one. Enjoy it and love your kids to the best of your abilities!