Having a supportive husband is everything. It makes every challenge easy and exciting. The thought of you and him fighting against all the odds is genuinely touching, but what about during childbirth? Is it advisable for dads to be present and be in the game while moms are pushing, or should they stay in the bleachers to wait?
When preparing for the delivery of our much-awaited bundle of joy, the focus of the attention is the mother. Of course, she should be. She is the one experiencing the physical and emotional changes while carrying the baby, but that does not mean we have to put aside the fathers. They also play a significant role in delivering the baby. It is vital that they know what they should and should not do during labor and delivery.
We all have that one man in our lives. There are those who have gotten lucky to spend time with him from childhood to adulthood while there are those who have not even gotten a chance to meet him. Regardless of where or what he is now in our lives, he will always be our father.
A few months back, you could always count on him to be around anytime you want, and he’s even sweeter than the chocolates he gives you. But ever since that day – the day when you told him he’ going to be a dad, he started to go MIA (missing in action)!
“I think I’m pregnant” must be one of the scariest things for him to hear, especially when he’s not ready! But why? Isn’t he aware that having sex could have you pregnant? Isn’t it the essence of sex – to bring life into this world? Now, you wish it never happened, so you could be the way you were.
Why do men back off when they find out they’re going to be a dad? Why do they leave the woman they once loved or still love just because she is pregnant?
There’s considerably less acknowledgement of how going through the experience of childbirth, beginning to adjust to your child, and accepting the realities and responsibilities of parenthood may impact your emotional well-being. — Elana Premack Sandler L.C.S.W., M.P.H
According To Psychiatry, Here Are The Reasons Why Some Men Are Afraid Of Fatherhood:
Scared Of Losing Freedom
Men love to be with their friends, playing video games, drinking cold beer, and having the night out. When they become dads, these happenings will seldom be as they can get. They need to do father stuff like staying at home and help with babysitting, and for them, there is more to life than to stay at home watching a baby sleeping.
Scared Of Responsibility
Most men can’t even be accountable for themselves. They don’t tidy up their beds, couldn’t wash their clothes and cook their meals. How much more responsible can they be in cleaning up a messy nursery, cleaning baby bottles, and changing diapers?
Parenting is one of the hardest, most stressful, yet rewarding experiences a person can have. We love our little ones with all our hearts, but they often test our limits. — Levana Slabodnick, LISW-S
Not Enough Financial Stability
When men are too young and not ready to pay the bills and groceries, being a dad will cause them to panic. Some men black out when the going gets tough, so instead of facing their responsibility, they distance themselves and try to maintain their life as it was.
Most ads on the internet are about living young, wild, and free. Some show people traveling around the world having the time of their lives, and it has just been a trend to be carefree. Men crave for these luxuries, and they think that having a baby would not allow them to enjoy life. They tend to stick to what social media sets as the standard of living – and that just isn’t being a dad.
Fear Of Change
Change is the only constant thing in this world, and it is human nature to fear it. Men are uncomfortable with the uncertainty of being a father. They are unsure of what to feel or if they would want to stick around. They are afraid of the changes it could do to them. Some men have their lives planned already. They know which path to take and what they want to be, and having a baby changes things.
Support for the changes and challenges new fathers face is largely absent from discussions of perinatal and postpartum health. — Chuck Schaeffer Ph.D.
Not all men back off when they get a girl pregnant. There are still those who are capable of adjusting to abrupt changes. There are those who were taught right by their parents to man up and face the consequences of their actions. Come to think of it. Fatherhood might be the adventure they were waiting for, and they just don’t know it yet.
As a father, we all dream of seeing our kids successful someday. We are anxious to send them to the best schools where they have a chance of getting a strong foundation. It is because we all know how hard life can be and how strong the competition can get. Not everyone will be on top, and as much as possible, we want our kids to be one of those who will be.
We genuinely understand the worries that first-time dads deal with these days. You see your friends’ kids glued to a smartphone or tablet all day, and you fear that your child will develop similar habits in the future. When you think of how creative the bullies are getting, to the point that they use social media to victimize people, you worry about your kid being on the receiving end of that.
Toddlers can easily become emotionally flooded. When emotions overwhelm them, they might throw a tantrum, yell, or cry uncontrollably. — Amy Quinn, MA, MS, LMFT
If there is something that’s scarier than technology or bullying, though, that is none other than depression. This mental disorder typically saps the energy off adults and hinders them from living their lives. In case a mere child acquires the same condition, what are the odds of him or her getting rid of a disease that even independent adults can hardly handle?
Try not to be so confident about your children not being prone to depression since according to a Center for Disease Control and Prevention report, it is the fourth most common mental health problem of kids between the ages of three and 17. The disease can develop anytime, especially if parents like yourself only see what they want to believe.
Thus, check out some of the ways to reduce your children’s chances of having depression.
Address Things That May Trigger The Disorder
From the get-go, you should acknowledge the factors that might depress your kids. E.g., the family moved to a different city or country, they have to find new friends or you and your spouse are finalizing your divorce. These are the kinds of circumstances that you cannot reserve, but it will help them cope with the new situation if you address such trigger factors early.
Most parents hope for their children to grow up behaving with decency, emotional openness, affection, non-defensiveness, and other positive attributes. It’s crucial for parents to model these qualities and behaviors for their children. — Johannes Kieding, LCSW
Do Everything As A Family
Kids do well when they see the entire family bonding over everything. For instance, in the morning, you have breakfast together and leave the house at the same time. After dinner, you commune in the living room to chat about how everyone’s day went by. As for the household chores, all the family members have individual tasks to finish.
Lessen Their Access To Technology
When children start using the internet before they can walk or talk, there is a high possibility that that’s all they will want to do while growing up. Their idea of fun is playing video games or watching YouTube stuff. They develop an interest in social media channels as well, and they might ask you to create a Facebook or Instagram account for them sooner than later.
If you let this matter to go on, though, your kids may not know how to make friends. They will find it hard to maintain relationships in the real world. That will eventually push them down the depression lane, for sure.
Our relationships are enriched when we allow our genuine curiosity to drive authentic questions about our children’s lives and experiences, and when we acknowledge and validate their perspectives. — Jon Lasser, Ph.D.
There is no reservation in our minds that you love your children more than anyone on this planet. You are willing to do everything to see them succeed and be happy in life. Hence, it should not be too challenging for you to follow the tips above to protect them against depression.
More and more dads are looking for communities that support father involvement in child-rearing as they get more actively involved in taking care of their kids. Continue reading Increasing Numbers Of Dads Seek Support As They Delve Deeper Into Parenting
Are dads really dispensable? A growing number of researchers prove otherwise. There are specific roles in children’s lives that only fathers can fill. Continue reading The 3 Distinct (And Vital) Contributions A Good Dad Has To The Family
6 Newborn Tips For First-Time Fathers
Dear first-time daddies, let me start off by saying your new baby isn’t breakable. Go on, and carry him (or her) in your arms. Trust me; the first time is the best feeling!
(One veteran dad gives six pieces of timely advice for first-timers in the “daddyhood” neighborhood.)