How To Become A Better Dad?

Unless you have a family or you’re a father yourself, there’s no way you can quickly grasp the crazy idea of a roller coaster that people call fatherhood. There’s pain, sorrows, frustrations, excitement, and joy that goes up and down. All fathers want to do more and be more. However, to fulfill that particular desire and becomes the best version of ourselves, some things require consideration.

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Ways Of Becoming A Better Father

Recognize That Our Children Are Different From Us

It’s time to recognize that our children are different from us. We can’t force them to do the things we used to do or tell them to get excited with the same things we love. Our kids are going to like different things and sometimes it’s way beyond our expectations. We won’t be able to control how they respond to their surroundings too. We can’t even tell them to have an interest that suits ours as well. Other people think that it’s going to create a problematic relationship, but it won’t. It is okay that they are different and unique. Because our jobs as fathers are to let kids learn and explore their individuality.

Some offer a behaviorist approach that’s driven largely by rewards and punishments, whereas others offer a nurturing approach that focuses on relating to the child’s emotional world. — Jon Lasser, Ph.D.

Practice The Elimination The Distractions

One essential part of fatherhood is the persistent control over the distractions that affect the parent and children development. One example is getting rid of our smartphones. It keeps us away from relating and connecting with our kids. Our constant spending of time on our phones only creates an issue that eventually affects both our and our children’s emotional and psychological health. Another one is not offering kids quality time. Our moments with our kids are the ones that they will look forward to, and if we don’t enable them to share it with us, they’ll start hating the reality of life.

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It’s vital for parents to present a unified front in order to avoid confusing their children. — Johannes Kieding, LCSW

Balance The Truthful Teaching

Our jobs as fathers are to answer our kids’ questions truthfully. We need to make them realize that life is not fair. Though it will hurt us to see them falling, we have to endure that particular moment for them. We have to remember that it’s not always about punishment, restriction, and discipline. It’s about teaching our kids the value of an opportunity. Our roles as fathers are mentors and life coaches to our kids. That whenever they step out in the line or perhaps tend to do the things they shouldn’t, we need to guide them. We need to secure truthful learning and make them master the skills they need to be able to stand alone whenever they start doing things on their own.

Avoid Being Too Serious

Fathers are known strict when it comes to handling kids, but it shouldn’t always have to be that way. It is understandable that most of the times we get too focused because we are caught up on factors that we need to prioritize. These include building a strong family structure, reaching for financial stability, helping out the community, and so on. But sometimes, we need to relax. We need to let go of those pressures and think about our kids importantly. We need to show them that life is not all about stress or environmental problems. We need to permit our kids to see that life is fun and enjoyable.

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Try To Loosen The Grip

It is vital that we know the things that are going on with our kids’ life. As fathers, we have to right to make significant decisions for our kids. That’s because our desire to engage in their daily activities helps us to understand them better. However, it is unquestionably okay that we know our boundaries and set limits within ourselves to where we should get involved or not. If we keep on deciding what our kids should do, who they spend time with, or where they should be going, a gap might build up. We need to secure a healthy relationship by not messing up our children’s emotional and psychological development.

Doing self-care activities together not only helps your child to cultivate good habits, it also helps your mind and body operate at its best—exactly the foundation you need to be the best parent and partner you can be! — Ashleigh Louis, Ph.D.

Become A Dad First, A Friend Later

Fatherhood should instill discipline and structure. Though it may worry most of us about what our kids will think about our style of parenting, we need to become their father. Yes, we can always make them feel like we’re a friend that listens to them every time they need someone. But we shouldn’t let our guard down. Our kids still need to respect, obey and fear us in a way that they will understand our actions. We have to make them feel they are worth fighting for and that they are always protected. That what we do is entirely for their benefit and that we only care about what’s best for them.

Being a father is not a privilege, it is a responsibility. By that, we have to make sure our children are ready to become completely self-sufficient in the future.

Why Daddy Needs To Stay In The Bleachers While Mom Is In The Delivery Room

Having a supportive husband is everything. It makes every challenge easy and exciting. The thought of you and him fighting against all the odds is genuinely touching, but what about during childbirth? Is it advisable for dads to be present and be in the game while moms are pushing, or should they stay in the bleachers to wait?

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Continue reading Why Daddy Needs To Stay In The Bleachers While Mom Is In The Delivery Room

Tips On How A First Time Dad Should Prepare For Labor And Delivery

When preparing for the delivery of our much-awaited bundle of joy, the focus of the attention is the mother. Of course, she should be. She is the one experiencing the physical and emotional changes while carrying the baby, but that does not mean we have to put aside the fathers. They also play a significant role in delivering the baby. It is vital that they know what they should and should not do during labor and delivery.

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Continue reading Tips On How A First Time Dad Should Prepare For Labor And Delivery

Psychiatry: Why Men Are Afraid Of Fatherhood 

 

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A few months back, you could always count on him to be around anytime you want, and he’s even sweeter than the chocolates he gives you. But ever since that day – the day when you told him he’ going to be a dad, he started to go MIA (missing in action)! 

 

“I think I’m pregnant” must be one of the scariest things for him to hear, especially when he’s not ready! But why? Isn’t he aware that having sex could have you pregnant? Isn’t it the essence of sex – to bring life into this world? Now, you wish it never happened, so you could be the way you were. 

 

Why do men back off when they find out they’re going to be a dad? Why do they leave the woman they once loved or still love just because she is pregnant? 

 There’s considerably less acknowledgement of how going through the experience of childbirth, beginning to adjust to your child, and accepting the realities and responsibilities of parenthood may impact your emotional well-being. — Elana Premack Sandler L.C.S.W., M.P.H

According To Psychiatry, Here Are The Reasons Why Some Men Are Afraid Of Fatherhood: 

 

Scared Of Losing Freedom 

 

Men love to be with their friends, playing video games, drinking cold beer, and having the night out. When they become dads, these happenings will seldom be as they can get. They need to do father stuff like staying at home and help with babysitting, and for them, there is more to life than to stay at home watching a baby sleeping. 

 

Scared Of Responsibility 

 

Most men can’t even be accountable for themselves. They don’t tidy up their beds, couldn’t wash their clothes and cook their meals. How much more responsible can they be in cleaning up a messy nursery, cleaning baby bottles, and changing diapers? 

 Parenting is one of the hardest, most stressful, yet rewarding experiences a person can have. We love our little ones with all our hearts, but they often test our limits. — Levana Slabodnick, LISW-S

Not Enough Financial Stability 

 

When men are too young and not ready to pay the bills and groceries, being a dad will cause them to panic. Some men black out when the going gets tough, so instead of facing their responsibility, they distance themselves and try to maintain their life as it was. 

 

Social Influence 

 

Most ads on the internet are about living young, wild, and free. Some show people traveling around the world having the time of their lives, and it has just been a trend to be carefree. Men crave for these luxuries, and they think that having a baby would not allow them to enjoy life. They tend to stick to what social media sets as the standard of living – and that just isn’t being a dad. 

 

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Fear Of Change 

 

Change is the only constant thing in this world, and it is human nature to fear it. Men are uncomfortable with the uncertainty of being a father. They are unsure of what to feel or if they would want to stick around. They are afraid of the changes it could do to them. Some men have their lives planned already. They know which path to take and what they want to be, and having a baby changes things. 

 Support for the changes and challenges new fathers face is largely absent from discussions of perinatal and postpartum health. — Chuck Schaeffer Ph.D.

Not all men back off when they get a girl pregnant. There are still those who are capable of adjusting to abrupt changes. There are those who were taught right by their parents to man up and face the consequences of their actions. Come to think of it. Fatherhood might be the adventure they were waiting for, and they just don’t know it yet. 

 

 

 

Teaching Your Kids The Importance Of Learning And Loving Chores Is The Best Thing You Can Do To Help Them Succeed In Life

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As a father, we all dream of seeing our kids successful someday. We are anxious to send them to the best schools where they have a chance of getting a strong foundation. It is because we all know how hard life can be and how strong the competition can get. Not everyone will be on top, and as much as possible, we want our kids to be one of those who will be.

Continue reading Teaching Your Kids The Importance Of Learning And Loving Chores Is The Best Thing You Can Do To Help Them Succeed In Life

How To Reduce Your Kids’ Chances Of Having Depression

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We genuinely understand the worries that first-time dads deal with these days. You see your friends’ kids glued to a smartphone or tablet all day, and you fear that your child will develop similar habits in the future. When you think of how creative the bullies are getting, to the point that they use social media to victimize people, you worry about your kid being on the receiving end of that.

Toddlers can easily become emotionally flooded.  When emotions overwhelm them, they might throw a tantrum, yell, or cry uncontrollably. — Amy Quinn, MA, MS, LMFT

If there is something that’s scarier than technology or bullying, though, that is none other than depression. This mental disorder typically saps the energy off adults and hinders them from living their lives. In case a mere child acquires the same condition, what are the odds of him or her getting rid of a disease that even independent adults can hardly handle?

Try not to be so confident about your children not being prone to depression since according to a Center for Disease Control and Prevention report, it is the fourth most common mental health problem of kids between the ages of three and 17. The disease can develop anytime, especially if parents like yourself only see what they want to believe.

Thus, check out some of the ways to reduce your children’s chances of having depression.

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Address Things That May Trigger The Disorder

From the get-go, you should acknowledge the factors that might depress your kids. E.g., the family moved to a different city or country, they have to find new friends or you and your spouse are finalizing your divorce. These are the kinds of circumstances that you cannot reserve, but it will help them cope with the new situation if you address such trigger factors early.

Most parents hope for their children to grow up behaving with decency, emotional openness, affection, non-defensiveness, and other positive attributes. It’s crucial for parents to model these qualities and behaviors for their children. — Johannes Kieding, LCSW

Do Everything As A Family

Kids do well when they see the entire family bonding over everything. For instance, in the morning, you have breakfast together and leave the house at the same time. After dinner, you commune in the living room to chat about how everyone’s day went by. As for the household chores, all the family members have individual tasks to finish.

Lessen Their Access To Technology

When children start using the internet before they can walk or talk, there is a high possibility that that’s all they will want to do while growing up. Their idea of fun is playing video games or watching YouTube stuff. They develop an interest in social media channels as well, and they might ask you to create a Facebook or Instagram account for them sooner than later.

If you let this matter to go on, though, your kids may not know how to make friends. They will find it hard to maintain relationships in the real world. That will eventually push them down the depression lane, for sure.

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Our relationships are enriched when we allow our genuine curiosity to drive authentic questions about our children’s lives and experiences, and when we acknowledge and validate their perspectives. — Jon Lasser, Ph.D.

There is no reservation in our minds that you love your children more than anyone on this planet. You are willing to do everything to see them succeed and be happy in life. Hence, it should not be too challenging for you to follow the tips above to protect them against depression.

Good luck!