A few months back, you could always count on him to be around anytime you want, and he’s even sweeter than the chocolates he gives you. But ever since that day – the day when you told him he’ going to be a dad, he started to go MIA (missing in action)!
“I think I’m pregnant” must be one of the scariest things for him to hear, especially when he’s not ready! But why? Isn’t he aware that having sex could have you pregnant? Isn’t it the essence of sex – to bring life into this world? Now, you wish it never happened, so you could be the way you were.
Why do men back off when they find out they’re going to be a dad? Why do they leave the woman they once loved or still love just because she is pregnant?
There’s considerably less acknowledgement of how going through the experience of childbirth, beginning to adjust to your child, and accepting the realities and responsibilities of parenthood may impact your emotional well-being. — Elana Premack Sandler L.C.S.W., M.P.H
According To Psychiatry, Here Are The Reasons Why Some Men Are Afraid Of Fatherhood:
Scared Of Losing Freedom
Men love to be with their friends, playing video games, drinking cold beer, and having the night out. When they become dads, these happenings will seldom be as they can get. They need to do father stuff like staying at home and help with babysitting, and for them, there is more to life than to stay at home watching a baby sleeping.
Scared Of Responsibility
Most men can’t even be accountable for themselves. They don’t tidy up their beds, couldn’t wash their clothes and cook their meals. How much more responsible can they be in cleaning up a messy nursery, cleaning baby bottles, and changing diapers?
Parenting is one of the hardest, most stressful, yet rewarding experiences a person can have. We love our little ones with all our hearts, but they often test our limits. — Levana Slabodnick, LISW-S
Not Enough Financial Stability
When men are too young and not ready to pay the bills and groceries, being a dad will cause them to panic. Some men black out when the going gets tough, so instead of facing their responsibility, they distance themselves and try to maintain their life as it was.
Most ads on the internet are about living young, wild, and free. Some show people traveling around the world having the time of their lives, and it has just been a trend to be carefree. Men crave for these luxuries, and they think that having a baby would not allow them to enjoy life. They tend to stick to what social media sets as the standard of living – and that just isn’t being a dad.
Fear Of Change
Change is the only constant thing in this world, and it is human nature to fear it. Men are uncomfortable with the uncertainty of being a father. They are unsure of what to feel or if they would want to stick around. They are afraid of the changes it could do to them. Some men have their lives planned already. They know which path to take and what they want to be, and having a baby changes things.
Support for the changes and challenges new fathers face is largely absent from discussions of perinatal and postpartum health. — Chuck Schaeffer Ph.D.
Not all men back off when they get a girl pregnant. There are still those who are capable of adjusting to abrupt changes. There are those who were taught right by their parents to man up and face the consequences of their actions. Come to think of it. Fatherhood might be the adventure they were waiting for, and they just don’t know it yet.