Words Of Wisdom From Dads That Are Pure Gold

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Source: pixabay.com

Therapists are known to cater to a lot of depressed individuals across the globe. Some of them feel helpless because their boyfriend or girlfriend left them for the third party. Others cannot get over the death of someone they love of the loss of their dream job. Thus, the most practical solution that comes to mind is to employ the help of mental health professional

Of course, there is nothing odd or wrong about this decision. If you are ill, you go to the doctor. If you have psychological issues, it is only natural to think of consulting a licensed therapist about how you can overcome it. They are the experts in this field; they are supposed to know how to help you.

Nevertheless, I know that the number of individuals who go to mental health professionals does not cover the real total of depressed people across the globe. Many refuse to visit a therapist’s clinic as they fear of getting criticized or feeling invalidated. Others prefer to try to get over their problems on their own, even though they know their chances seem bleak.

While mothers (typically) introduce children to the world of relationships, fathers introduce them to the world. — Karen L Smith MSS, LCSW

Considering your case is closer to the latter than the former, you should talk to your daddy or any man who plays that role in your life. The reason is that fathers can be brutally honest whenever they give their opinion, especially if the concerned individual is their kids. You may or may not disclose the details of your depression to your dad, but I am sure that he can share some of his words of wisdom to you that are pure gold.

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Source: obamawhitehouse.archives.gov

Some of the common enlightening comments that fathers offer can be found below.

If The Shoes Don’t Fit, Stop Forcing It

Some women have a hard time accepting that the man they love does not love them back, and vice versa. The former keep on texting or calling the latter, hoping that their mind will change at one point. Alternatively, they believe that the indirect harassment will annoy the love of their life, to the extent that the individual will agree on going on a date with them. So, if it doesn’t happen in reality, the romantic becomes hopeless and goes into depression.

Engulfment: This occurs when a child is not encouraged to separate and individuate from the mother in early childhood. As an adult, the engulfed child becomes an adult obsessed with relationships, demanding others meet all their needs without taking responsibility for meeting their own needs. — Amy Quinn, MA, MS, LMFT

What most dads can advise in this situation is to stop forcing yourself on people who are not into you. If someone does not like you, that’s fine. You will be able to find others who will want to bring you the moon and the stars even if you don’t ask. It is such a waste of time to keep on devoting your efforts on people who do not appreciate you.

There’s No Point In Crying Over Someone Who Has Already Hurt You

The first thing that my father has honestly told me one day he saw me crying after a bad breakup was, “Dry up your tears. You only cry over someone who has loved you.” At that moment, I wanted to argue that he was wrong, that he did not even know what happened. I was thinking, “How could he be so mean?”

But then, my dad made me realize that my ex would not have hurt me if he loved me for real. No man or woman in love could bear the sight of their partner being in pain because of them, after all. That short interaction with my father has allowed me to see that, yes, there’s no point in shedding tears over someone who does not mind hurting me. No one has the right to do that, no matter how much you love that person. It’s something you should remember as well.

When children are autonomous, they are more likely to feel capable of making their own healthy choices. — Eva Lazar, PhD

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Source: pixnio.com

The World Doesn’t Stop Revolving Even If Your Partner Leaves You

There are people, men, and women alike, who take a split so hard, to the point that they no longer want to go out or do anything else. They don’t eat or shower; they cannot even be bothered to charge their phones just in case someone wants to check up on them. It is as if their life is on a standstill, and everything will only return to normal if their partner takes them back.

The truth is, it seems rare for exes to find love in each other’s arms again, especially if you have broken up because your partner has found another person to love. Despite that, it does not mean that you cannot move on from it. You can fall for someone new again, someone better. Your world should not stop revolving just because the love of your life has left you.

In The End

I am aware that such words of wisdom may not make sense to you immediately, primarily if you are still in the grieving stage. However, keep them in your mind and talk to your dad more. Who knows, he may be able to share more of his know-how about how you should handle different situations in life.

Good luck!

Can’t Go To The Barbershop Anymore While Your Kid Pursues Psychology Degree? Here Are Tips On Tapering Your Own Hair

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Source: flickr.com

Sending your child to university to get a psychology degree tends to entail that you have to make sacrifices to help him attend school without worrying about student loans. For one, you might work double shifts or look for a part-time job. You may also sell a property to be able to pay for their tuition in full. You are a dad, so no one will question your decisions to give your child everything that he or she needs.

Now, in case you want to give up going to a barbershop to save some money, you should know that you can taper your hair even if you are not a professional.

Tools You Need

  • Clipper Guards
  • Hair Clipper
  • Comb
  • Scissors
  • Mirror
  • Shaving Cream
  • Razor
  • Fade Brush (Optional)

Method 1: The Free-Hand Taper

Step 1: Picture Out The Cut

How short your shortest hair will become depends on you. It’s alright to copy your favorite Hollywood artists’ do or search for the cut that will match the shape of your head and face.

Step 2: Utilize The Scooping Motion

After thinking about the haircut, attach the guard to the clipper. The scooping motion is a technique in which you run the tool from the nape to where you want the taper to end. Feel free to interchange the guards to blend the style.

Step 3: Trim The Sides

Take the comb to roll the strands upwards and then the clippers to chop off the hair that sticks through the former. Since it’s a taper, your locks have to thin out from top to bottom.

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Source: pixabay.com

Step 4: Cut The Fringes And Top

The scissors come in handy in case you wish to create bangs or shorten the top. Just remember to comb up for the latter and comb down for the fringes. Considering it is the first time you’re doing it, perhaps make tiny cuts until you get satisfied with the length.

Step 5: Check For Irregularities.

The final step is to get your handheld mirror while facing the bathroom mirror to ascertain your taper is smooth.

Method 2: The Sportsman’s Taper

Step 1: Chop Off The Top Portion

Utilize the clipper with a 1/8-inch blade to trim your mane starting from the crown towards the forehead. What it entails is that you are cutting with the grain of the hair so that it stays a bit longer.

Step 2: Cut The Locks At The Back And The Sides

Continue working along the same direction of the hair. Take your time to ensure that it’s even on both sides.

Step 3: Taper From The Temples To The Ears

Attach the ¼-inch blade to the clipper and move your hand diagonally from the temple to the ear area. Then, instead of removing it abruptly, pull the tool away from the head. It should make the blending easier.

After that, change the attachment with the 1/8-inch one. Taper with it in both open and closed positions respectively, and do the same thing for the 1/16-inch blade. Unlatch the guard once done before running the clipper without any accessory over the blended portion.

Finish the step with the 1/8-inch attachment to get rid of the excess waves on the hair.

Step 4: Work On The Hairline And The Back

It is very significant to run your clipper up to the middle part of the ear with the ¼-inch guard to create a division between the top and bottom layers. This will remind you of where to stop the tapering.

The next thing to do is perform the scooping method like how we’ve explained it in the first method. The only difference is that you need to do it with and without attachments. The order to remember goes this way: 1/8-inch blade (open and close), 1/16-inch guard (open and close at a 45-degree angle), and no attachment (open, half-closed, and close). You also have to blend everything with the 1/8-inch guard after all of that.

Step 5: Line Off The Hairline And Temple Area

Press your clipping device lightly into the central part of the hairline. It serves as your guide in doing a straight line closest to the forehead. Follow through by making a sharp cut where the hairline meets the temples on both sides. Be sure to have a large mirror in front of you.

Step 6: Create An Outline Behind And Around Your Ears

After curving the haircut down the sideburns, pull one ear away from your head to reveal the hairline behind it. Trim this portion diagonally in a similar manner as with the strands on the temple area.

Step 7: Clean The Outline With A Shave

Cutting the hairline can leave patches of hair detached from the rest. For this reason, you have to smear the shaving cream on them and shave off with a straight razor.

Step 8: Style It As You Please

The sportsman’s taper is usually short on every angle, so you can brush the hair forward and apply pomade on it.

Method 3: The Gentleman’s Taper

Step 1: Cut The Top Layer

Combing the hair parallel to the ground, chop off several inches from the crown area. The length left should be long enough, however, to prevent it from sticking upwards. It becomes your guide as to how long the strands on the sides and the back have to be.

Step 2: Start Blending Around The Head

Maintaining the same position of the comb, utilize the scissor-over-comb system for blending the hair from the crown to the top section. Always begin at the middle going to the left and right sides to keep the balance.

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Source: picryl.com

Step 3: Blend The Side And Back Areas

This time, work on the lower segment of the head with the same technique to mix it with the upper layer.

Step 4: Use The Clipper For A Semi Finish

The fourth step asks you to practice clipping over the comb to produce a semi finish. Angle your clipper at 45 degrees to cut the hair near the temple area nicely. By placing two fingers above the ears, you see where it should end.

Step 5: Apply The Blade-On-Skin Technique

You may put the comb away for now and adjust the hair clipper to the open position. Perform the scooping movement for this step so that it seems naturally tapered, and do it again with the blades half-closed and closed.

Step 6: Tidy Up The Sideburns And The Ear Section

If you are already happy with the outcome, get your T-trimmer to emphasize the sideburns and remove the excess strands behind both ears.

Step 7: Shape The Neck Area

Line off the neck area at the back of the ears as well and shave up the back without touching the tapered part. It is supposed to clean the hairline.

Step 8: Shave The Outline

Considering the T-trimmer has left stragglers out, you can eliminate them with a razor after applying the shaving cream.

The Verdict

As you have probably noticed from the methods above, the necessary tools for each are almost similar with small variations. With practice, we are pretty sure that you can do any of these methods and will not have to hire a professional to achieve the tapered look ever again. Cheers!

Anxiety And Depression In New Dads

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Depression and anxiety are usually associated with women, especially those who just gave birth. This mental state is considered a disorder since it has a significant effect on the person’s behavioral, mental and emotional state. However, anxiety and depression can happen to anyone. And this is also true for men, specifically new fathers.

Continue reading Anxiety And Depression In New Dads

Gift Ideas That Might Erase Your Gift-Giving Anxiety For Your Daughter’s 21st Birthday

It is such an anxiety-inducing thing to realize that your daughter is turning 21 soon for all moms and dads. For one, many find it hard to believe that their baby is now a full-fledged adult who can do stuff on their own. The situation may be a bit different as well from when they were away in college, in the sense that the child has every right to create their nest without needing to come home during school break.

Nonetheless, what worries parents more upon knowing this fact is that not everyone knows what kind of present to offer to their 21-year-old daughter.

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Source: flickr.com

It should be something unforgettable, after all. It will have been easy if you are buying a gift for a 7-year-old girl since most kids at that age love dolls and teapots. For a woman who is in the last year of young adulthood, however, she deserves to receive a special gift that will make her thankful for having you as a parent.

Here are a few ideas that might erase your gift-giving anxiety before your daughter’s birthday.

Buy A Car

Although a car may sound like a gift that wealthy celebrities or rappers tend to give their kids, it will be a thoughtful present if you buy one for your daughter as well. Having a vehicle, after all, will allow your child to go to job interviews without being late or looking haggard due to using public transportation. Aside from that, it can serve as her first taste of responsibility because she will have to pay for her gas, car maintenance, et cetera.

The thing is, it is not a necessity to get a super expensive car, to the point that the rest of your family has to eat one-dollar ramen for an entire month. Whether you can afford a brand-new or second-hand auto, your baby girl will undoubtedly appreciate it.

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Source: nps.gov

Pay For A Trip

You may know of a specific place that your daughter actively wants to visit, but she does not have the time or money for it. The location may merely be out of town or in a country that even you have never been to. As it is her special year, therefore, it is only fair for you to surprise her with an all-expense paid holiday with everyone she loves the most.

This trip may signify your child’s transition from being a little girl into a young woman. Once the vacation is over, the daughter will have to look for a job and ideally not need the parents to buy everything for her.

Rent A Club

If you are the kind of parent who won’t get mad if you see your daughter drinking and partying, you may consider renting a club for her birthday celebration. She can invite friends and relatives who enjoy booze and music all night long. You may set up a food buffet on one side of the room as well and let everyone soak in the fact that you already have a 21-year-old daughter.

Offer Passes To Extreme Adventures

However, if you think clubbing will not suffice to have your daughter feel entire that she is now 21 – and if she loves challenges – you can take her to death-defying adventures like cliff diving, parasailing, bungee jumping, and parachuting. It may increase her sense of freedom and allow your baby girl to see that she can do whatever she pleases as long as it does not negatively affect other people.

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Source: pixabay.com

Shoulder The Downpayment For A New Flat

21-year-olds have this intense craving to show the whole universe that they can be on their own by working hard and getting their place without the help of their family. That is especially true for millennials who love their independence more than anything.

Despite that, if you know that your daughter will most likely crash at a friend’s unit while looking for a job in the metro, it won’t hurt to get an apartment for her and shoulder the downpayment on her behalf. Not only will it ensure that you are aware of your kid’s whereabouts, but you can guarantee that she is in a safe space.

Final Thoughts

These gifts may all come out as a bit costly, but they are the things that your daughter needs before entering the real world. You have been there; you know how difficult it is to stand on your own. However, considering you have the means to ease your baby girl in on their new path, why don’t you go all out for her?

Think about what we’ve mentioned above so that you can make a decision soon. Good luck!

How To Become A Better Dad?

Unless you have a family or you’re a father yourself, there’s no way you can quickly grasp the crazy idea of a roller coaster that people call fatherhood. There’s pain, sorrows, frustrations, excitement, and joy that goes up and down. All fathers want to do more and be more. However, to fulfill that particular desire and becomes the best version of ourselves, some things require consideration.

Source: wikimedia.org

Ways Of Becoming A Better Father

Recognize That Our Children Are Different From Us

It’s time to recognize that our children are different from us. We can’t force them to do the things we used to do or tell them to get excited with the same things we love. Our kids are going to like different things and sometimes it’s way beyond our expectations. We won’t be able to control how they respond to their surroundings too. We can’t even tell them to have an interest that suits ours as well. Other people think that it’s going to create a problematic relationship, but it won’t. It is okay that they are different and unique. Because our jobs as fathers are to let kids learn and explore their individuality.

Some offer a behaviorist approach that’s driven largely by rewards and punishments, whereas others offer a nurturing approach that focuses on relating to the child’s emotional world. — Jon Lasser, Ph.D.

Practice The Elimination The Distractions

One essential part of fatherhood is the persistent control over the distractions that affect the parent and children development. One example is getting rid of our smartphones. It keeps us away from relating and connecting with our kids. Our constant spending of time on our phones only creates an issue that eventually affects both our and our children’s emotional and psychological health. Another one is not offering kids quality time. Our moments with our kids are the ones that they will look forward to, and if we don’t enable them to share it with us, they’ll start hating the reality of life.

Source: pixnio.com

It’s vital for parents to present a unified front in order to avoid confusing their children. — Johannes Kieding, LCSW

Balance The Truthful Teaching

Our jobs as fathers are to answer our kids’ questions truthfully. We need to make them realize that life is not fair. Though it will hurt us to see them falling, we have to endure that particular moment for them. We have to remember that it’s not always about punishment, restriction, and discipline. It’s about teaching our kids the value of an opportunity. Our roles as fathers are mentors and life coaches to our kids. That whenever they step out in the line or perhaps tend to do the things they shouldn’t, we need to guide them. We need to secure truthful learning and make them master the skills they need to be able to stand alone whenever they start doing things on their own.

Avoid Being Too Serious

Fathers are known strict when it comes to handling kids, but it shouldn’t always have to be that way. It is understandable that most of the times we get too focused because we are caught up on factors that we need to prioritize. These include building a strong family structure, reaching for financial stability, helping out the community, and so on. But sometimes, we need to relax. We need to let go of those pressures and think about our kids importantly. We need to show them that life is not all about stress or environmental problems. We need to permit our kids to see that life is fun and enjoyable.

Source: maxpixel.net

Try To Loosen The Grip

It is vital that we know the things that are going on with our kids’ life. As fathers, we have to right to make significant decisions for our kids. That’s because our desire to engage in their daily activities helps us to understand them better. However, it is unquestionably okay that we know our boundaries and set limits within ourselves to where we should get involved or not. If we keep on deciding what our kids should do, who they spend time with, or where they should be going, a gap might build up. We need to secure a healthy relationship by not messing up our children’s emotional and psychological development.

Doing self-care activities together not only helps your child to cultivate good habits, it also helps your mind and body operate at its best—exactly the foundation you need to be the best parent and partner you can be! — Ashleigh Louis, Ph.D.

Become A Dad First, A Friend Later

Fatherhood should instill discipline and structure. Though it may worry most of us about what our kids will think about our style of parenting, we need to become their father. Yes, we can always make them feel like we’re a friend that listens to them every time they need someone. But we shouldn’t let our guard down. Our kids still need to respect, obey and fear us in a way that they will understand our actions. We have to make them feel they are worth fighting for and that they are always protected. That what we do is entirely for their benefit and that we only care about what’s best for them.

Being a father is not a privilege, it is a responsibility. By that, we have to make sure our children are ready to become completely self-sufficient in the future.

Why Daddy Needs To Stay In The Bleachers While Mom Is In The Delivery Room

Having a supportive husband is everything. It makes every challenge easy and exciting. The thought of you and him fighting against all the odds is genuinely touching, but what about during childbirth? Is it advisable for dads to be present and be in the game while moms are pushing, or should they stay in the bleachers to wait?

Source: pexels.com

Continue reading Why Daddy Needs To Stay In The Bleachers While Mom Is In The Delivery Room

Tips On How A First Time Dad Should Prepare For Labor And Delivery

When preparing for the delivery of our much-awaited bundle of joy, the focus of the attention is the mother. Of course, she should be. She is the one experiencing the physical and emotional changes while carrying the baby, but that does not mean we have to put aside the fathers. They also play a significant role in delivering the baby. It is vital that they know what they should and should not do during labor and delivery.

Source: flickr.com

Continue reading Tips On How A First Time Dad Should Prepare For Labor And Delivery

Psychiatry: Why Men Are Afraid Of Fatherhood 

 

Source: af.mil

 

A few months back, you could always count on him to be around anytime you want, and he’s even sweeter than the chocolates he gives you. But ever since that day – the day when you told him he’ going to be a dad, he started to go MIA (missing in action)! 

 

“I think I’m pregnant” must be one of the scariest things for him to hear, especially when he’s not ready! But why? Isn’t he aware that having sex could have you pregnant? Isn’t it the essence of sex – to bring life into this world? Now, you wish it never happened, so you could be the way you were. 

 

Why do men back off when they find out they’re going to be a dad? Why do they leave the woman they once loved or still love just because she is pregnant? 

 There’s considerably less acknowledgement of how going through the experience of childbirth, beginning to adjust to your child, and accepting the realities and responsibilities of parenthood may impact your emotional well-being. — Elana Premack Sandler L.C.S.W., M.P.H

According To Psychiatry, Here Are The Reasons Why Some Men Are Afraid Of Fatherhood: 

 

Scared Of Losing Freedom 

 

Men love to be with their friends, playing video games, drinking cold beer, and having the night out. When they become dads, these happenings will seldom be as they can get. They need to do father stuff like staying at home and help with babysitting, and for them, there is more to life than to stay at home watching a baby sleeping. 

 

Scared Of Responsibility 

 

Most men can’t even be accountable for themselves. They don’t tidy up their beds, couldn’t wash their clothes and cook their meals. How much more responsible can they be in cleaning up a messy nursery, cleaning baby bottles, and changing diapers? 

 Parenting is one of the hardest, most stressful, yet rewarding experiences a person can have. We love our little ones with all our hearts, but they often test our limits. — Levana Slabodnick, LISW-S

Not Enough Financial Stability 

 

When men are too young and not ready to pay the bills and groceries, being a dad will cause them to panic. Some men black out when the going gets tough, so instead of facing their responsibility, they distance themselves and try to maintain their life as it was. 

 

Social Influence 

 

Most ads on the internet are about living young, wild, and free. Some show people traveling around the world having the time of their lives, and it has just been a trend to be carefree. Men crave for these luxuries, and they think that having a baby would not allow them to enjoy life. They tend to stick to what social media sets as the standard of living – and that just isn’t being a dad. 

 

Source: pixabay.com

 

Fear Of Change 

 

Change is the only constant thing in this world, and it is human nature to fear it. Men are uncomfortable with the uncertainty of being a father. They are unsure of what to feel or if they would want to stick around. They are afraid of the changes it could do to them. Some men have their lives planned already. They know which path to take and what they want to be, and having a baby changes things. 

 Support for the changes and challenges new fathers face is largely absent from discussions of perinatal and postpartum health. — Chuck Schaeffer Ph.D.

Not all men back off when they get a girl pregnant. There are still those who are capable of adjusting to abrupt changes. There are those who were taught right by their parents to man up and face the consequences of their actions. Come to think of it. Fatherhood might be the adventure they were waiting for, and they just don’t know it yet.