Finding out that your wife has finally given birth to your first-born can be overwhelming at first. There will be many things that will enter your mind. Aside from this, you will also experience mixed emotions. First of all, you will feel happy knowing that you are going to raise your own child in this world. Second, you may also feel fear especially if you have no idea on what to do now that you are a brand new dad. At this point, it is significant to highlight the fact that what you are feeling is only normal.
A lot of people believe that sons grow up to be as great as their fathers. That is somewhat true in some instances and even if they are handling single fatherhood. But what about some individuals who grew up with a toxic father where they experienced a tough upbringing? What about those who never experienced having a father in their lives? Honestly, it is essential that we all take a moment to understand how toxic family dynamics can affect our emotional and mental wellbeing. So take a minute to read some of the listed unhealthy father and son relationships.
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The Addict
An addict father is someone who struggles with addiction. It could be alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography, and so on. In this state, if you have an addict father, you tend to be vulnerable. And often, you experience emotional instability due to fear and anxiety instilled within your life. It can scare you to death. In some instances, your fear can restrict you from opening up and getting close to other people. There is this feeling that you do not want to get hurt and rejected. Over time, this unwanted fear can cause you the inability to form an intimate friendship as well as establish a romantic relationship. Unfortunately, it does not end there. Usually, an addict father tends to resort to abuse, which could top off your father-related worries.
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The Abusive
It is a type of father image that destroys you from inside and out. An abusive father often possesses an overly-strict feature that eventually turns into a harsh and abusive one. Usually, an abusive father experiences frequent irritability and anger outburst that comes from nowhere. He then executes his uncontrolled emotions to verbal, emotional, sexual, or physical violence. It is a characteristic that often makes the whole family unhappy and unsafe. With an abusive father, there is no room for mistakes and flaws around. But before you connect an abusive father to the addict, consider thinking outside the box. There are instances that an abusive father tends to be highly religious and well-mannered as well. However, in the household, he tends to expect everyone to follow his rules and regulations. This type of father is often moody and unpredictable, so you usually tend to be afraid of him.
The Absent
An absent father is an image of an individual who is never around when you need him. Usually, the case is situational. There are instances that you experience an absent father because you lost him at an early age. Or perhaps you never get to know him because of personal reasons. But often, you experience an absent father because this man chooses to ignore his family for whatever reasons you sometimes can and cannot understand. It is mostly because he wanted to take a step back from all the pressure from his family. This man has many regrets in his life that he wants to fulfill so badly even if it ends up leaving his whole family. An absent father becomes emotionally and physically unavailable in nurturing his children. Over time, that feeling of abandonment can be detrimental to everyone’s emotional, mental, and physical development.
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The Busy
The busy type of father immerses himself into a lot of hobbies and work. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with being passionate about a career. But if your father gets obsessed with something that benefits him alone rather than spending quality time with you and your family, that is different. When your father doesn’t enjoy being around his son or any other member of the family, that can cause a lot of emotional and mental pressure. Indeed, you can understand that most fathers would love to spend time relaxing and resting after a day of work. But if that individual always avoids being around everyone in the house, it represents an unhealthy relationship. But note that most busy fathers tend to have the impression of being reliable and responsible in front of other people, yet in the household, they often practice neglect.
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The Passive
The passive father is somewhat comparable to the busy one. However, they differ significantly when it comes to emotional unavailability. Usually, a passive father has a very boring and uneventful life. He only focuses on himself, he never tries to help at home, and he never spends quality time with everyone in the house. Yes, he rarely complains about a lot of stuff, but you can feel that he is somewhat inexistent. Sometimes, it makes you think that the rest types would be better compared to this one. Although this type of father is physically present in the family’s lives, he is often emotionally distant. He doesn’t interact that much or not at all with all the members of the unit. Thus, it becomes impossible to bond or even have a small conversation with this type of individual.
With most people still in quarantine, dads are spending more time at home with their loved ones. While most fathers are taking a more active role at home than those before, women still handle most domestic tasks.
If you want to help out more at home during this difficult time, here are some things you can do.
Help With Chores
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One of the things you can try at home is to help out with more chores and housework. It’s likely that you and your family already have assigned duties, but now you can help out with more tasks. It could be standard household work such as cleaning dishes, dusting furniture, or doing laundry.
Or perhaps you have tasks you’ve wanted to do for a while. Maybe you’ve been planning to clear out the roof, repair those squeaky chairs, or try out that recipe you saved. Now that you’re at home, you might have the time to check these items off your to-do list.
Study With Your Kids
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Because most places have still suspended classes, learning now dominantly takes place at home. More and more parents realize how challenging it can be for teachers worldwide. Some even joke that they now believe educators should earn millions with the amount of patience they show with young learners.
As we await the end of this outbreak and the beginning of a new term, you can help your kids. Thousands of online resources will give you activities you can do with your children at home. From practice sheets and flashcards to coloring pages and informational videos, you can use these materials to teach your kids.
Alternatively, you can also go on a virtual tour with your family. Some places you can visit online include:
Walt Disney World. Walk past your kids’ favorite Disney landscapes and landmarks through 360-degree panoramic shots.
The National History Museum. Visit up to 14 different exhibits and an interactive gigapixel photo.
NASA. The space agency offers an app with augmented reality to let you experience being in the Horton Space Center. You can also have a 360-degree view of the galaxy.
The National Aquarium in Baltimore. Explore the aquarium and chill with penguins or tropical fish.
The San Diego Zoo. Watch animals without ever leaving your home through live cameras of the enclosures 24/7.
With virtual tours, you can visit places without having to leave your home. It’s an excellent alternative to plans you might have needed to cancel due to the coronavirus outbreak.
Teach Your Children A New Skill
Speaking of learning, you don’t have to stick to a specific curriculum or classroom work. You can also take the time during this quarantine to teach your kids a new skill or hobby.
Why not show them how to play a few basic chords on the guitar? Or teach your older kids some beginner house repair. You can also guide them on how to knit to create a simple project. It’s an excellent time to share your interests and knowledge with them. You can also learn about what might pique their interest.
Have Playtime Together
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With how busy parents can get with work and other responsibilities, you might not always have time to bond. Now you can take some time to have playtime together.
A fun idea is to stage a “Family Olympics” where all household members can play. Plan out simple games you can all participate in and keep score of who wins for the day. Some suggestions for these activities include:
Trash can toss. Get the most paper balls into the bin in a certain amount of time.
Water bottle bowling. The goal is to knock down the most water bottle pins with a small ball.
Paper cup tower. Build the highest tower out of paper or plastic cups.
Playing with your kids can help strengthen your bond together. “When a dad engages with his child, it allows him to enter the child’s world,” says Kate Eshleman, PsyD.
Summary
In the past, many fathers may have been less involved in raising their kids and participating at home. However, there’s now a significant shift in the norm, with more dads being more proactive. In 2012, dads made up 16% of stay-at-home parents, higher than 10% in 1989.
Even during this quarantine, there’s a lot you can do to help at home. You can help out with chores that you might not have had the time for before. The extra time also gives you an opportunity to teach your kids more lessons, a new skill, or about a hobby. Lastly, the quarantine can also serve as bonding time with your family. With all the stress right now, everyone can use fun activities and games together.
COVID-19 has made us adjust a lot of things in a short period. To stop the outbreak from spreading, schools have shut down, jobs have transitioned to remote working, etc. Now that you and the kids are home every day, how can you keep them engaged and entertained despite the situation outside? This vast transition can be challenging both for you and your child.
Here are some creative indoor activities that can keep your kids engaged while at home:
Go On Virtual Tours
Touring landmarks is the number one leisure activity. You can still do this—but virtually. It’s not nearly rewarding as in real life, but it can be a fun and exciting way to pass the time.
You can virtually tour museums, safaris and zoos, national park, and landmarks such as:
There is a long list of free virtual tours that you can find online. Or, a simple search on Google Maps can take you on a trip all over the world. “Walking” around with your kids and making up stories along the way can be a fun and unpredictable experience.
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Get Creative With Arts And Crafts
Sky’s the limit with indulging in the hobby of arts and crafts. It can be a way for children to express ideas and emotions and to explore processes and outcomes.
You can bring out a classic paper and crayons combination, and kids can be entertained for hours. Painting is another activity—finger painting is highly-stimulating for toddlers—to get their creative juices flowing. You can also create DIY crafts out of recycled materials and natural objects.
Introduce Them To Music
You can also use the quarantine period as a time to introduce your child to music. Music is therapeutic and helps alleviate the anxiety this crisis brings. If you know how to play a musical instrument and your child is old enough to pick it up, why not pass on the knowledge to them? If you have a toddler, on the other hand, you can buy them toy instruments for starters and let them have a feel of it.
A lot of celebrities and musicians are also holding live concerts at this time that you can watch with your kids. Or if your kid is into dancing, playing out exciting music for them can help them hone their talent.
Teach Them A Recipe
With many restaurants closing for business, you can take this time to teach your kids how to cook or bake. You can have them help with the preparation when you’re preparing a dish for your mealtime. You can also teach them family recipes and follow instructions from a kid’s cookbook. You’ll not only teach them how to cook, but they can also learn how to measure ingredients precisely.
Damon Korb, M.D., points out that, “This break is an opportunity for all of us to get back to the basics and get out of our digital lives. Don’t look at these activities as just chores, but things that your young adult will someday need to be able to do on their own.”
Do A Science Experiment
Simple science experiments can teach kids how things work in a fun way. You can show them how chemical reactions work through a classic volcano experiment or create a DIY lava lamp to introduce some physics lessons. There are tons of science experiments and projects that you can do together with your kids. Check out Science Buddies for more ideas!
Reading and Storytelling
Learning should never stop even in quarantine. Take advantage of this time to read some new books for your child. If they are ready for chapter books, then you can take out your favorite books from the shelf and have them read it. If you have small kids, you can pick a children’s book and read it out loud to them.
Bring Out the Board Games and Mind Puzzles
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Back in the days, you’ve probably spent vacation nights and family gatherings with your cousins playing Monopoly or Scrabble. Go old school and teach your child these games that you enjoyed before. It is not only a fun way to pass the time but also an opportunity to teach them skills and strategies while adding in some lessons while you’re playing.
Conclusion
Even amid a pandemic, your child doesn’t stop growing. You shouldn’t let this situation hinder their growth. They will carry their experience and memories of this period until adulthood. We hope that this article helped you come up with some exciting ideas on how you can spend this quarantine period with your child. Stay safe!
I grew up without knowing my dad. My mom said he was in the marines, and that he was always somewhere doing his duties to the country. I looked up to him and even dreamed of becoming a soldier myself. I missed him, and every birthday that he wasn’t there, I was less of a person. My mom would always come up with excuses just to stop me from crying.
You Don’t Have To Watch Frozen And Other Princess Movies On Repeat!
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Dads of little girls are cursed to endure watching every animated princess movie there is in the world. But daddies, you can still change your plight! Below are eight great non-princess films that my little girls love, movies that are fantastic alternatives to watching Frozen or other princess pictures on repeat.
Family therapy is something that the entire unit can benefit from, particularly those that require help, such as mental health conditions or major issues. Some family members might be suffering from substance use disorder and might also be having behavioral problems and major life transitions.
What entails family counseling? Continue reading below to get a better understanding of family therapy.
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Many believe in the idea that the family structure is where we start and end. The structural family is a significant influence on where we go in life, and problem solving and maintaining healthy relationships between the family members is essential to keeping a healthy outlook.
The strengths and weaknesses may be varied, and members interact differently. Also, one member communicates differently from another member. Thus, many families benefit from family therapy and other interventions.
Marital or parent counseling and family counseling is a process where the therapists and other mental health professionals provide sound advice that would help families identify patterns and appropriate boundaries for each other.
This has had very high positive outcomes for the past decades.
We all yearn for healthy dynamics (whether normal or blended family) and this type of therapy focuses generally on this.
Role Of Family Therapy
What is the role of counseling in building strong bonds? Can therapy sessions help the members resolve conflicts? Yes, family therapy can help especially with the guidance of a qualified professional such as a licensed marriage therapist, counselor, and family therapist.
Therapy for families is a form of psychotherapy whose focus is to solve problems within a family system. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) recommends that parents seek a licensed mental health provider, such as a social worker, to conduct family counseling sessions.
How many sessions are required depends on the specific issues being addressed by the person, such as substance abuse or mental health concerns. The Cleveland Clinic is one such provider that offers various mental health services.
By involving all the members of the family in therapy, the focus is on finding solutions that benefit everyone involved.
In a family, the relationship between a father and son is special. It is nothing like having someone who will always have your back, but the father’s love can sometimes be concealed in an authoritative voice and strict discipline.
How Can Strategic Household Counseling Help In This Kind Of Circumstance?
Can familial therapy help with challenging situations (e.g. chronic illness or other mental illness) and improve communication? How does therapy within the family strengthen the father and son connection?
Can the family therapist help them come up with effective coping skills and healthy boundaries to tackle conflicts and disagreements?
Men who are used to viewing themselves as central figures in their conquest of the world must somehow adapt to a new storyline to find meaning in the process. — Jonathan Bartlett, MA, MFT
Saving And Rebuilding Father And Son Relationships With Family Therapy
A son treats the father as an inspiration and intentionally or subconsciously imitates his behaviors and adapts his aspirations, but there will come a point when their relationship gets shaky.
As the son grows up, the father will have expectations, so much so when he has achieved something in life. That’s when things get tough. The son may wish to be something else, as a way of rebelling.
In this situation, the marriage and family therapists can initiate talk therapy to resolve interpersonal conflict. This is one of the major objectives of family therapy.
Without proper communication and coping skills, their relationship will start to crumble, which is when family counseling comes in. The basic principles of family therapy (e.g. family functioning, family systems theory, etc.) can play a major role in specific challenges and situations like this.
Indeed, the treatment plan of household counseling can be very helpful.
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It Helps Bring A Father And Son Or A Mother And Daughter Together Again
According to marriage and family therapists, when there is a dispute in the family that causes major family problems, it is essential that the parties involved get to work out their differences, and doing it face-to-face, as done in marriage and family therapy, is the best way to do it.
Structural family counseling is also vital to avoid worsening the situation for the family members. Sometimes, when you let a situation slide, it will become a real challenge to take it back and patch the family connection. Family counselors teach strategies (strategic family therapy) to improve expression and communication in order to lessen the rough patches among family members. The usual family patterns are modified and the whole family unit is affected.
Just as many men lack training on how to be a father, therapists often lack formal training to work with fathers. — Chen Oren, Ph.D.
Family counseling encourages forgiveness between family members. A father and son are both males. Biologically, they are both the alpha and sometimes, it’s hard for both of them to ask for forgiveness.
In family counseling, they will have time to reflect on their thoughts and actions. Doing so will make them realize their part in causing pain. It is easier to ask forgiveness when you can determine your faults, which can be done successfully through family therapy.
The benefits of family therapy are best seen when a marriage and the family counseling specialist mediates the process.
Family therapy signifies an interest by the family members in saving the relationship between both parties. Household counseling takes hope from both father and son to achieve a positive outcome from family therapy. Nothing is quite like the love of a father for his son and vice versa taking the first step by seeking family counseling, because, indeed, family therapy can help.
Remember that physically being with your children is only one part of being a good parent. They internalize you and carry you in their heart even when you aren’t present. — Andra Brosh, PhD
An Online Platform Open For Family Counseling Services
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There are different platforms that aim to help other family members find help.
If you are looking for an online family therapy platform that focuses on assisting your family in dealing with each other’s emotional and mental health conditions, getting connected with BetterHelp is a great alternative. It has a team of mental health professionals, a licensed family therapist, and counselors who have been trained to tackle different types of therapy, including family psychotherapy and couples therapy. According to client reviews, their lives changed when they got matched with a counselor that was appropriate for the specific mental health problems that they faced. If you want to get the same benefits for yourself and your family, sign up for family counseling sessions today.
Family therapy is an effective way to provide support and address specific issues like depression, grief, or other mental health concerns that may affect both children and adults. Short-term therapy sessions with licensed professionals who specialize in systemic family counseling can help treat these issues. Family therapy can also be an excellent tool for family education and teaching family members healthy coping mechanisms. For example, friends can participate in therapy sessions to provide additional support, and the family can learn how to support each other through the challenges that arise after a death.
Family Therapy Strengthens Family Bonds Between Members
Household counseling concentrates on rebuilding family relationships; its goal is to make sure that the family communicates and that family members understand the importance of having positive mental health. The family is where we all started, and where we will end no matter if blood relates to us or not. Family therapy focuses on salvaging and strengthening challenged relationships because family counseling is aware of the importance of a healthy relationship and marriage in a family towards the success of each and every one.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Why do we need family therapy?
2. What are the disadvantages of family therapy?
3. What are the stages of family therapy?
4. Who is involved in household counseling?
5. What are some of the household counseling benefits?
6. How many types of family counseling are there?
7. How do you set goals in family counseling?
8. What family counseling technique is best for families?
9. What is a counselor for families called?
10. What is the difference between a therapist and a psychologist?
11. What are the 3 goals of family counseling?
12. What is the most common type of family counseling?
Parents counseling? How does parent counseling work? Can they benefit from the treatment? Let’s read further to learn more about the treatment.
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Crossing the bridge into fatherhood spans a life stage where both King roles (as Provider, Rule Maker, Protector) and Lover roles (as Birth Coach, Intimate Partner, Co-Caregiver) carry less impact than before. There is a new game afoot. — Jonathan Bartlett, MA, MFT
Mental Health: Parent Counseling For Soon To Be Dads
What does mental health counseling involve? How can a mental health professional help a parent improve the family, parent-child relationship, overall parenting styles, parent-child conflict, and even adult relationships and personal relationships? Is parent counseling really effective for reducing stress in the family relationship? Can the private practice of a licensed professional counselor really provide — overwhelmed parents, divorced parents, authoritarian parents, assisting parents, single parents, first-time parents, etc. — gain insight on handling parent-child conflict or mental health problems that affect a child’s life, child health, children’s development, whole family members and family life? Know more about it.
Parenthood is not an easy place to be for one or both parents — especially not for separation or divorced parents, single fatherhood or motherhood, or many parents. And being a parent is not something you can leave when it gets hard.
Introduction To Parent Counseling
I had mixed emotions when I first learned I was going to be a parent. I was excited to see a little me, but at the same time, scared and feel overwhelmed that I might not be the best for him. I might fail him as a parent. I never want him to ask, “Why can’t I have that?”
Motivating Myself To Attend Counseling For Parents
I had to begin Parent Counseling to help me find the courage to take risks and man up to my parenting responsibility. If I could share the things I’ve learned with my fellow parents, I would gladly. Parent counseling really helped me a lot.
Parent counseling, sometimes called parenting therapy, is like coaching in that it offers guidance, tools, knowledge, and emotional support to help them raise their children as healthy and high-functioning. It will help you understand and identify the needs of every individual in your family and better look after the well-being of your family unit. The approach, however, doesn’t provide a treatment plan, especially if you’re dealing with mental health issues like ADHD or oppositional defiant disorder.
Being a good father is a tough job, but also a rewarding one that brings out the best in men, for the benefit of families and, ultimately, of society. — Melanie Greenberg Ph.D.
Treatment For Parents Factors
Many factors on how to begin Parent Counseling to improve Skills and Parenting Style
How To Be A Good Parent:
Picture the appropriate behaviors you want your own children to have and make the positive change. You are one real example of the things your child’s behavior can become. Keep in mind not to drink too much around them. Substance abuse, like alcohol, can leave an imprint on their mental health. Don’t take an authoritative approach like most parents do by reminding your children to be mindful of where they are stepping. Remember that your children are walking in your own set of footsteps, so you be careful as their parent. Spend quality time with your children, talk to them, and assess the best interests of your children. Most importantly, be there for them, spend time with them, and support them, especially during difficult situations.
Teach your children the real essence of a man – to protect not just their mother and women but those who cannot defend themselves. Train him to be the protector of all that is good.
Discipline your children not to be selfish and to be a leader who envisions the well-being of everyone. Make them understand the difference between people following you out of fear versus respect.
Educate your children that true riches are not material things. This can be especially true if you are a single parent during financial difficulties. You are rich when you are loved and contented with what you gain without having to hurt and belittle anyone. This is the most valuable education.
Parent Counseling
On the other hand, seeking parent counseling sessions from mental health professionals while staying at home with your child is made possible through BetterHelp. This is also a good option if you have a hectic schedule with your work and family. There have been many success stories posted by clients about their families turned around for good because of this online counseling platform. They may also schedule family therapy or individual therapy. You are provided with an unbiased outsider’s view into your home, allowing you to make objective decisions with the advice of a trained professional who can help with your mental health issues and other health conditions. You can also check out this link if you want to know more about how employees feel about working at BetterHelp.
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Many people have a child and then realize all the stuff they thought they figured out is still there. That’s fine. — Justin Lioi, LCSW
Counseling For Parents
Couples counseling or parent counseling made me realize that parenthood is not just about being able to provide them with material things. As parents and a spouse, the good parenting style is about the process of filling up our children’s souls with all the goodness there is. They are also responsible for helping their children develop life skills. I know that this world is not always rainbows and butterflies, and winning is not about how big the weapon you hold in your arms. It is about how big your parent’s heart is to show care, and compassion and contribute to the wellness of the people around you.
During counseling service sessions, mental health professionals help them set goals and, create action plans, build communication and problem-solving skills.
Being a parent is not a simple task. It takes a real man to stick around and stand up for his children and his marriage. I realized that parenthood is not a mark of a hindrance to my goals in life but an opportunity to fulfill my purpose as a parent.
Frequently Asked Questions
What Is The Most Important Teaching In Parental Counseling?
What Is A Parent/child Relational Problem?
How Can You Improve The Relationship Between Parents And Children?
Why Is Family Therapy Necessary?
What causes parenting issues?
What are the factors affecting parent/child relationships?
