Sorry, dad, you’re just not doing enough.

I know you think you already did your job. You’re on “the” career track. You pay the bills. You’re the breadwinner. You contributed your above-average sperm and now you are the “World’s Best Dad,” as signified by at least three mugs and one tie.

Not. So. Fast.

You may have an awesome job and family, but at best you are… blasé. Why? Well, for one, you take care of your family, but you’re forgetting to show any care for them. I can understand, at least, the deal with your wife, and she understands partly as well, because she is the other parental unit in this equation.

Your kids love you, of course, but their love for you is unconditional. Do you really think that’s going to last forever? And it’s time you stop taking advantage of that and start showing them the love they deserve by being more than just a mere wallflower. One that’s on display somewhere else, for that matter. You know that event you couldn’t quite make it to with your family last weekend? That’s what I’m talking about.

Of course, you have your job and that really is what matters, so the overtime was justified and your loving spouse handled everything for you while you were away. But what about when you were home? When did you offer to help with anything? Did you give your family a hand in the laundry room? Did you make dinner and let your wife take a break to get something done that she’s been waiting to do? Did you give your kids a hand with their homework? Or do you think you’re that father from 1948 that reads the newspaper and lets his wife handle everything else?

I’m ready for your excuses, by the way. “Oh, I’ll screw up the laundry. I don’t cook very well, even when I make stuff in the microwave. I don’t remember how to do algebra. I can’t _____ because of _____.” Bullsh*t, bullsh*t, bullsh*t and bullsh*t. The real reason that you can’t help with any of that is because you are blasé. Not one of those things is difficult on their own. Seriously, if you can do the job you get paid to do, then you are smart enough to do any of these. The difficulty happens when they all must be coordinated, so why the hell are you forcing it all on your spouse? Time to stop pretending that you are not smart enough to help with housework. Smarts aren’t needed, anyway… only patience.

If you think you didn’t “sign on” to really help your family, I’m here to tell you that you are wrong. You applied for this job the moment you became a daddy, and you were immediately approved for it. No one in the world ever said that being a father was going to be easy. It’s time to stop pretending that it is by putting all the burden on the rest of you that you already “work so hard for.” Lend a hand.

Learn to be a better man, and do what you can to actually raise your kids for a change. I know a good place to start: give your children a hug and a kiss. When was the last time you did that?

You don’t have forever, by the way. As a matter of fact, you only have a relatively tiny amount of time to be the family man you vowed to be when you first saw and heard that tiny heartbeat. When you did, was your first thought “how blasé?” or was it “how extraordinary?”

It’s time to be extraordinary.