I’m getting older,* but I’m getting less angry. Maybe I’m supposed to be getting more angry, but I’m not. That’s because I’m a dad, and there’s no job in the world that requires more patience than being a mom or a dad.

Part of being so patient requires getting less angry at things. Besides, when you have kids, you just don’t have the time. Tons of things used to tick me off, but then I realized that I was just wasting time and energy on things that would never make a difference to me anyway. Kids with low pants? Who cares. Long lines? That’s what smartphones are for nowadays. Internet trolls? Just ignore them. Politics & religion? Let’s agree to disagree. Screaming kids? As long as they’re not mine…

Yes, I can tolerate lots of worldly issues that no longer bother me. On the other hand, yes, there are a few “items” that still make me angry. Very angry. Things that make me forget being patient altogether, because I’m just too mad… dad or not.

1.) Litterers. I teach my kids to use garbage cans. It’s the simplest of concepts. People who toss trash out of their car window or just throw things on the ground instead of walking twenty feet are lazy. I do, on the other hand, like to show my kids that it’s okay to throw away a stray piece of trash in the park or on the way to the dumpster.

2.) I’ve gotten over single people who use the family restroom, I really have. They might have made this list a year ago, but I don’t have kids with diapers anymore, and it’s sometimes just as easy to take my children into the men’s room. The jerks who need to be vilified, though, are the piggies who can’t wipe the toilet seat after themselves. There may have been a time where I believed that men were the only pee-petrators here, but back up to the “family restroom” thing. I have seen the kind of messes that women can leave. Good luck out there, ladies. *shudder*

3.) People who tailgate / People who speed through neighborhoods / people who don’t give “thank you” waves. We could go on and on about the type of drivers that tick me off, but as a parent, these are the ones that really stick. The tailgaters got worse as soon as we stuck a baby-on-board magnet on the back of the car – evil. People who speed through neighborhoods where kids are playing, biking, running and being children – pure evil. And the people I let in front of me even though they bypassed everyone else, but can’t raise a damned hand to say “thanks?” – pure, unadulterated evil.

4.) Auto repeat. Autoconcrete. Otto the street. Autocomplete.

5.) People who don’t keep their word. I don’t mind delayed promises, cancellations because of sick children, or other times that people give their word and back out. When people say they are going to do something and never do it, then we have a problem. I love the word “no.” I use it all the time. It can mean “Sorry, I can’t fulfill your request. You can find a different way to get what you need done.” It’s okay to say “no, I can’t do that for you” instead of “yes, I can” and then never doing it or letting me know why you can’t. Just be honest.

6.) Public Fighting. It sucks to have to watch to people fight in public and it sucks to be one of them. It sucks to have to break up your kids who are going at it in the middle of the store, and it sucks to have to argue with some idiot because he thinks it’s okay to swear like a Quentin Tarantino film in a children’s play area. It sucks to watch someone spank her kid in public for no greater offense than just being a kid. It sucks to have one of those days with your spouse and everyone around you knows it. Can’t we all just get along?

7.) Parking Space Stalkers. Drivers that see you walking to your hot car with a stroller, two kids, a shopping cart full of groceries and more, and then feel the need to wait for your mediocre spot. In all fairness, these people don’t make me angry as much as they make me slow. Very. Slo-o-o-ow.

8.) Line jumpers. These self-righteous, entitled, narcissistic and impatient dregs of humanity are scum. And villainy.

9.) People who don’t say anything back when you greet them. Have you ever wasted a perfectly acceptable “good morning” or simple “hello” on someone who responds by glaring at you like you’re the devil? As a kid, I always thought, at the very least, that grown-ups were going to be civil with one another. Reality is a bitch, isn’t it? What an awful and nasty thing to do to another human being who is only guilty of one thing: being friendly. And I’m sorry, but for adults, and especially those with kids, being “shy” is not an excuse for this reprehensible behavior. You know why? I’m extremely shy, and an introvert**, and sometimes it takes every shred of my existence to go out of my way and to be polite to other people in the world. If someone greets you, you’re supposed to greet them back. It’s the law.***

10.) Lists with less than ten things on them.

* So are you. Fact.

** Shocking, right?

*** Embellishment.