In a couple of years, I am going to be in a lot of trouble. At least that’s what I’ve heard.

This is about a particular one of those typical clichés that you hear as a parent (in this case, of daughters). There are a couple of variations, but conversations typically go something like this:

Stranger: Oh, just look at your daughters! They’re very pretty!

Me: Well, thanks!

Stranger: You’d better look out in a couple of years… you’re going to be in a lot of trouble with those two!

Me (thinking): Whaaa?

This exchange can vary from one interaction to the next, but I suspect this is something that Dads and Moms of daughters hear quite a bit. But what exactly does it mean? Why am I going to be in trouble? Is there a rash of female bank robberies going on? Does something about us imply that we are a mafia family? Will I be required to be one of those “bully” parents in ten years and get in trouble for it?

Or, perhaps, are they stating something more obvious with this weird, yet common, comment?

C’mon, I’m not completely naive, here. These people are usually talking about boys. Apparently daughters will hit their teenage years and automatically attract the worst kinds of boys. Then, they will helplessly follow them around and get into all sorts of “trouble.” They’ll wreck things, steal things, and do generally dangerous activities. And they’ll *ahem* have premarital sex. Which, of course, leads to teen pregnancies.

Trouble!

Well, to be honest, I don’t know what kinds of societal norms people are basing their “troubling” comments on. Yes, there are a lot of troubled teens out there, but I’ve seen plenty of intelligent, assertive teenage girls with great relationships with their parents. I also have no idea what my own daughters are going to be like as teenagers. I don’t need to think about it because I am currently enjoying being their Dad as they are: smart, funny, polite, and yes, beautiful 3 and 5-year-olds.

On the other hand, I really do have their future in mind, which is why I also choose to treat them with respect and kindness. More importantly, little by little, they are learning that women need to be respected in cultures throughout the world. Every day they are with my wife and I (and their teachers) they get to learn that life is a million times more vibrant and dynamic than “girls like pink and boys like blue.”

Most importantly, I know that in ten, fifteen or twenty years I won’t have daughters that are “trouble.” I will have daughters who are smart and independent. Daughters that can make their own decisions, yet come to us for help when they need it. Daughters who can talk to us about anything they want. Daughters who lead.

So I have this to say to you, dear stranger. Why not try a different approach next time you want to say something to a Mom or a Dad with one or more daughters?

Stranger: Oh, just look at your daughters! They look so bright and intelligent! You’d better look forward to their future, because they’re going to make you so proud!

Next Week: The Trouble With Boys.